"Flowers grow out of dark moments." ---Anita Corita Kent
This is showing itself to be true in my life. I'm sure in one fashion or another you can relate. I have been living in what feels like a cave of seclusion and darkness. I have wondered who I am, and who God is. I have asked questions that have softened my heart and solidified my faith. My knees hurt, my mind is vulnerable, my spirit is held up by the hand of God...but today one of my students said to me, "Miss Poulterer, did you have a lot of coffee this morning? You seem really hyper or happy, or something...." And my response to him was, "I feel the presence of the Lord today, and for what seems like a moment, He has lifted this cloud." Now the truth is, it comes back here and there. And my heart still feels fragile. But a moment can go a long way for a weary pilgrim. My position at the school was affirmed today, I see purpose beyond what I could create. I look into the eyes of these kids and see a desire for God and stand amazed that He would even give me a platform to share with them the faithfulness of God...the love He has for sinners like me, and the grace that falls in surplus upon them each new day. This was what I was made for, these other things that too often dominate...Self-satisfaction, security, mere personal pleasure and approval...they are what I have settled for.
Today, I saw a flower peek out.
(Thank you Lord...You are all I have, and all I really want.)
4 comments:
I see purpose beyond what I could create.
...they are what I have settled for.
Wow this is going to stick with me for a while.
Thanks Julia and thanks Adrian...thanks for always hugging me and caring about how I am, even with a look and a caring word. He remids me I am loved...
Your "being foolish" in front of your kids may become a spiritual marker for them. When they're going through the clouds, they may remember your moment of clarity, your moment of basking in God's presence. You're right, those times are more powerful than an oasis for us pilgrims. I'm grateful for your words.
The journey continues ...
Your words are like salve for my wearied soul. Thank you for pushing forward on the journey...
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