Green tea latte or just green money?

Do you ever stop and think about what it means to be "rich?"

It's funny because I live in South Charlotte, which is the banking capital of the U.S. where we now have some steep financial issues. Ironic. I have had a thought that I do think is worth processing..."Maybe it is time we redefine what matters." We don't like that because it makes us uncomfortable. We hate pain. We hate discomfort. We hate having to downsize, limit ourselves or refuse our children. We like money, ease, food, good drink, success, a solid image, the admiration of people,...in essence, we want what we want and we will often do whatever it takes to get it. So we define the highest good as a wealthy, successful life...a nice chunk of green flow. It's all around us. It takes over our lives and it wraps itself around all our hopes and dreams. And in so many ways, we stop living and instead we join the rest of the world on a thoughtless, narcissistic journey of the addiction to self. It makes me feel crazy sometimes. It forms a pit in my stomach. I find myself standing in line to get on the same damn train everyone else is getting on and then I have a moment of clarity that comes in a way least expected.

I have a friend who spent some time with me the other day...

I have known her for over 5 years and each year has been like opening another door. It's interesting to me how you can "know" someone and never really know them. It's interesting to me how you can like someone and not have a clue how much you will come to love them. This individual is a treasure. There are layers to people and very rarely do we take the time to sit long enough or take a risk and ask for permission to listen. I just keep thinking how we care more about money and "stuff" all the while missing out on what brings a true wealth to our lives. People are more worthy of our time and the investment always proves so sanctifying.

I wouldn't trade her or knowing the pages of her history for all the money in the world, sincerely. These times with her make me respect her more and remind me of the privilege of being her friend. And I hope when I am her age, which will come sooner than I think, to be like her.

I saw a homeless guy walking around a few years back when I needed a place to live...circumstances kicked me to the curb and I needed a home. When I saw him I felt for a brief moment that I could relate to him...and I feared the reality that maybe I could end up where he is. But then I had an epiphany and I realized that his issue was not a financial issue, it was a relational issue. He didn't have friends. During this time I lived in three different homes and I had another 5 offer me a place...no one would let me be on the streets. This was not about money, he had no one to care for him. He had not connected with people over the years. The truth is, if he had a solid and secure income would his life be any better because he had a roof over his head? Or would it still be lonely and aching since he had no one who sat with him and talked? So why do we seek wealth with such obsessiveness? How is it that we have missed people like my friend who has left a mark that is far more important than a paycheck? Why does money matter so much when we could have loads of it and still feel alone and worthless? We may look good, dress in reputable clothes and spark envy when we drive down the road...but would someone take us in? Would someone want to spend a few hours with us over a green tea latte at Barnes and Noble?

Her story is a gift to me on so many levels and her friendship is invaluable. Maybe in our economy...maybe in our deficit we will seek true wealth...a rich life that gives us cause to wake up in the morning and to celebrate the beauty of the people around us that we rarely stop to notice.

Sit and talk with someone, notice them, ask them questions, share pieces of you with them too...have a latte together and realize that true, successful life happens in these moments.