Looking through old Christmas reflections and I found this one...

Nothing compares to Jesus. Over the course of 37 years living and breathing, I can testify that this is true. And it is not a feeling. It is a state of belief and in the truest sense, a relationship that is more full than any other. It is Christmas 2008. I am in PA and sitting by myself, not sure where everyone even is…but I am thankful for the unexpected time in solitude. It is hard to come by in a house of 9 around the holidays. It has been fun and loud…so many gifts and so much food. And little time for silence.
So in some ways Jesus has felt as far away as the rest of the universe. I have some things that weigh on me and it is hard to give them to Him when I can’t find Him for the handoff. But this is the problem…we can pray and thank Him for His birth, we can claim Him to be the reason we celebrate Christmas, we can mention Him in passing and listen to music that highlights His birth…but if we don’t choose Him and sit silent before Him, we will remain here in the physical world and the physical world will be our home. My last few years have left me thinking about the idea of the Kingdom of God. It is not what is around us. It is not the tangible. It is not the loud, technological advancements. I realize with so many others like Henri Nouwen and Thomas Merton and Brennan Manning…it is silence that ushers in the Spirit in such an array of colors that it stirs my soul with supernatural traces. The noise keeps Him out. The chatter and constant movement are like a wall between us and Him. But He waits. And He promises to come to us…but His mode and method are not like that of this world.
So this morning…I thought about Jesus. I thought about how He calms me. I thought about how the only hope I have is hope in Him. I was thinking about how much He matters when I feel overwhelming fear or disappointment. I was remembering how often my life has been straightened out or refreshed only in His presence. I was thinking about how apart from Him there is NO GOOD THING. I was recalling how my perspective is so skewed and leads me in a downward spiral of thought when I am disconnected from Him. I was thinking about how even creation is not as vibrant if not through the lens of God—knowing truly it was made for me to enjoy and to point me back to His power and might. He is it. He is all there is. He is the fountain of life, the healing balm, the resurrection of the dead, the peace that passes understanding, the hope of all nations, the beginning and the end, the reality of the supernatural, the motivation of the saints, the anchor for our wandering souls, the answer to all the questions, the rock when all around us is unstable, the purpose in all pleasure, the only One who knows us fully and loves us completely.
He came so that we could be with Him, live along side of Him, talk to Him, cry with Him, cling to Him…but somehow, we live as if He never came. We don’t really talk to Him that much, we don’t listen for His voice, we don’t get quiet and wait for Him to reveal Himself, we don’t seek out our answers from Him, we keep the TV on, we keep our ipods hooked up, we stay on our cell phones, we surround ourselves with people, we talk about meaningless things, we hope in money, we seek rest in the wrong places, we eat too much, drink too much, and shop too much. We look for more every day but we rarely go to the well of LIVING water that He has always promised to be. We are starving even though we are maxed out. We hunger in such a deep place and yet we keep eating the wrong substance. We are walking dead, living with so much less than what we have access to. We have been told so many lies and we live by them as if they were true. But they kill us every day. They steal from our souls and leave us empty again and again. We have forgotten Jesus. We live like He never came. We turn our eyes and hopes toward shallow things. We live like Christmas never happened, but we celebrate it every year with such vigor, we rejoice over a King born who came to save us, but we never really talk to Him.
So here I sit. Wondering what my next year will look like. So many people in harsh pain around me, and I am in pain myself. Give me Jesus today. Give me all the He is and all that He wants to be for me. Give me a heart to bow down to Him. Give me silence to hear Him, give me a voice to speak to Him, give me Jesus.
“For the people walking in darkness have seen a great light….”
Isaiah 40: all…
1 Comfort, comfort my people,
says your God.
2 Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and proclaim to her
that her hard service has been completed,
that her sin has been paid for,
that she has received from the LORD's hand
double for all her sins.
3 A voice of one calling:
"In the desert prepare
the way for the LORD [a] ;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God. [b]
4 Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.
5 And the glory of the LORD will be revealed,
and all mankind together will see it.
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."
6 A voice says, "Cry out."
And I said, "What shall I cry?"
"All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.
7 The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
8 The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever."
9 You who bring good tidings to Zion,
go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem, [c]
lift up your voice with a shout,
lift it up, do not be afraid;
say to the towns of Judah,
"Here is your God!"
10 See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,
and his arm rules for him.
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.
11 He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
12 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?
13 Who has understood the mind [d] of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?
14 Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?
15 Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.
16 Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires,
nor its animals enough for burnt offerings.
17 Before him all the nations are as nothing;
they are regarded by him as worthless
and less than nothing.
18 To whom, then, will you compare God?
What image will you compare him to?
19 As for an idol, a craftsman casts it,
and a goldsmith overlays it with gold
and fashions silver chains for it.
20 A man too poor to present such an offering
selects wood that will not rot.
He looks for a skilled craftsman
to set up an idol that will not topple.
21 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
23 He brings princes to naught
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.
24 No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.
25 "To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.
26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.
27 Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.