I'm an addict

Brennan Manning spoke about the addictions we have to our emotional wounds and the drive to have them finally satisfied. I would love to go to a surgeon and ask him to open me up and stuff me with something that would make it all go away! It sneaks up, jumps out and grabs hold of me. And in that moment, I am so weak. It is bigger than me, stronger than me and more determined to take over my soul than I even care to resist it.

I am no different than an alcoholic or drug addict, it simply takes another face. People. Saving lives. Injecting significance into someone with my words and responses. It's a challenge to even describe, but it is there and it is real. So I went to Romans 7 and 8 and heard the voice of Paul speaking the words of my own battle...

"For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing...So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" This is how I felt last night...

"Who will rescue me!!!???"

And then..."Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" He has done it. He has made it possible for me to actually resist the compulsion to fill myself up with what will only drain me more. He has broken the chains of the bondage of my sin. And it is nothing less than an all out war. It is bigger than me and stronger than me. But I have One who fights for me (Exodus 14:14) and One who is bigger than what is bigger than me. And Paul gives me words of hope to carry in my pocket today..."Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

Galatians 5:1 "It is for FREEDOM that Christ has SET ME FREE!"